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Gavin's Journal
03 June 2002
carful times
well thanks for your patience.
certainly it's been a tough time,far from enjoyable but very necessary.
decompression-first off from the tour and secondly of course to do with nigel.
i have been reading the reactions and stuff and it seems that people have been ready to judge and assume a number of scenarios.
when i replied to a few comments on the forum page i asked for a little time and was still accused of not being "direct" enough and somehow as though i was suposed to defend myself and be ready to stand trial.
think about the fact that the journals have given you,the reader,a further insight into us into me and in these hungry times we live people have been actually getting frustrated with me for not communicating more.
maybe those same people could take a moment themselves to reflect on the effort put in.
as we all know the rolling stones or u2 or jimi hendrix managed their very successfull careers without the openness of a journal.
then when the shit hits the fan-certain people are ready to hang me .
there was one i read where some girl was saying she had suspected i was an asshole for a year!!!!!!!!i mean go away and get a life--how sweet one did you think that???? and actually in your case you could be right.

i have been waiting to speak to nigel.obviously we need to talk -because of that i have not been able to write in the journal as i was waiting for more info .
also it is essential that we maintain the integrity(me and nigel)that we have enjoyed for years.we have achieved momentous things.it would be wrong to betray that.
the idea that i fired him six days after the birth of his son is wrong and untrue.i wrote him a letter.i opened the can of worms and quite simply he evaporated.but yes i did write the letter.
it was not sudden,by his own admission he had been unsure of his desire to continue.over the years that becomes less helpful.
being in a band is being together against the world.
you need to be pulling in the same direction.mostly.

i do not want to say anymore on this for now.it does no-one any favours. it is not ideal and it is not easy but it is life and that's how it is.

gavin