Gavin's Journal
10 May 2002
a bridge out of here

well out my window at the spectacular grand hotel we're at there is an amazing wrought iron bridge.i'm back in deerhunter country.
i wanna be on that bridge.a way out. a fresh start.
tonight is the last north american date of this record.it is a sad day for me to be truthful.
there is so much more touring and playing to be done.we have had the best shows we have ever done and so we just want to continue.
there is so much confusion around nigel and the status of the band.i keep hearing that we are quitting and all is done.
well let me tell you as far as i'm concerned,i'm pissed with how things are. i was unsure of future moves for ages but the fact is that i refuse to back down from bush and everything we have accomplished over the years.it feels too soon.
i gotta write another record and if i go out it will be done in style,not a whimper but a bang.
i mean what's the fucking point.i make music to believe in.to change myself or to learn something.maybe a challenge.maybe i know nothing but i hate the way music has changed.i hate the way everyone has sold out. it's like big brother is the dj.
they want us the same.no individuals.we are the new china.you breathe life when you break the walls down,not build them up.
my neck is in pain.there is a pain in my neck.life creeps up my back and hangs heavy like mass.
the only way out is through and that means the best record bush can make.
we will make it with chris.he has done so much for us out here.nigel could not tour-imagine if we had to wait for ages finding the right guy etc.
chris actually slipped in real easy and he's so easy going,it's always been no problem.it's crazy really.
for me he's great live and a really good understanding generous guitar player.and a sweetheart.
it was everything to have nigel in the band.he brought me so much,he brought us all so much.what a superb guitar player.i will always be deeply connected and grateful to him.
i guess while you're turning around life spins by regardless.
we have had no arguments,no falling out,no loss of respect-just perhaps a common goal.
it is not possible to discuss this further as there is no more to say. we have lost but we have gained.we are alive.
thanks for coming out to see us on this tour and to all our excellent fans world wide i am sad we will not see you more on THIS record.
i thought everything would be different,i really did.
and when we rise again and deliver the record of our lives,you can feel a part of it all too.meeting everyone after shows and getting letters and all the manic bush fans wecome across is mindblowing.
i read each and every letter i get and although i don't reply i have this site and this voice to communicate through.
i am grateful and i am mad.a perfect cocktail for making records.
we play poughkeepsie tonight
then tomorrow to toronto.we love playing there and have
had some of the best times of our lives there.the last show at the molson was with the jesus lizard and souls.two records ago!!!!!!!!!since then we have played weird places but none as good as the amphitheater.
i hope the crowd is insane.are you all coming??
all we need is the bush world gang .
we have a bunch of festivals in europe coming up .should be a blast.
then a little time at home.then glastonbury and two more weeks of european festivals and shows.
i am gonna start on the new songs too.
keep inflatable alive.have you seen the video????it's a story !!!!
be well
all this talk about me and nothing about you
come see us
we want you there
over and out
gavin